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About 18 months ago I had a jump lesson at my old yard.  Now don’t get me wrong my intructor at the time was a very knowledgeable woman – she trained Olympic teams in the 60’s or summat.. but she often seemed to forget that not EVERYONE was ready to be Olympic team standard!! At the time D and I had been having a few probs jumping – no matter what the size of fence (even 10cm x pole) we would balloon over it (top of wings stuff) and then land deep and bronc and when i mean bronc I dont mean a few little bucks I mean head between the knees broncing!! And I would fall off, cry a bit, wonder why she didnt love me, get back on and basically press repeat.

Well we have been doing lots of loose jumping and Miss Olympics herself decided in her infinite wisdom that a grid lesson would sort D out no problem.

Should also mention at the time I was going through a crisis of confidence and anything over 60cm looked HUGE.

Miss Olympics decided that to get D paying attention she should set the fences at c. 70 to start – much wailing from me ‘their tooooo big’, ‘shut up’ was the response only slightly ruder!! Only 3 fences, outside in the jump field. ‘Her legs’ i wailed (ground was hard), ‘shut up’ again only ruder…

First couple of times through fine, Great lets whack them up thought miss olympics…. so she put them up to about 90cm, lots of ‘encouragement’ ie. ‘pull yourself together’ ‘stop being pathetic’, lots more wailing (from me) and we went through again – she bronced at the end, I came off, immediately appeared to be hoisted back on and told to go again.  We went again, she bronced again, I came off again, before I even looked up I was back in the saddle (Miss Olympics was pretty strong!)

So I am a wreck and a bit bruised, sweating and swearing profusely, out of breath.  D is wired. Head shaking, tanking etc.  What happens next? A helicopter comes round and starts to land in the field next door?? I mean seriously who would have thought it.  ‘Get on with it’ Miss O yells.  I wail.  I lose.. i ride a very wired D to the fences, we hoon over them 100000 mph and bronc like our life depended on it, I came off, crack, ouch… D is off bolting round field, man gets out of helicopter looks vaguely surprised at the commotion, Miss O tells me to pull myself together, i try and explain i have broken my arm – get back on she yells, no i wail, then i start being sick, then she realises perhaps summat is up!!?

Long story short I had dislocated and broken my elbow which is apparently quite a feat in one go.  Call to sister ‘i think i need to go to A&E’ AGAIN?? She asks.  Sorry I say.  Triage nurse greets me by name and a cheery wave – ‘hi xxx, what is it this week’ charming.  Much giggling from the nurses.. weren’t you the one who did this that and the other, ever thought about giving up horses hahaha.

Strangely no, I have never thought of giving up horses! I did move yards quite quickly afterwards but it wasnt just Miss O’s teaching style there was more to it than that….

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